So, what's the deal with the power of persuasion? Is it just a good business skill or is it manipulation?
Let's talk about manipulation first. A typical sales pitch involves the motive to manipulate. It will look like a set up, and the one being set up will feel like a caged animal. The seller begins zeroing in on the potential customer's pain. It starts as an introduction and a handshake. Then you pick up an on accent as your target begins speaking, or a ring he is sporting on his right pinkie - something that moves the conversation to a more personal nature. This probing leads to what city the target is from, what he likes to do for fun, and what he wishes he had more time to do...until before you know it, the poor slob is bearing his vulnerabilities to the vulture. And then of course, the manipulator goes in for the kill.
The persuader works differently. His appearance is less slick. You feel comfortable in his presence because, even though you are caught off guard by his inherent confidence, there is something familiar about him. Where the manipulator has a desperate quality that seems to motivate him, the persuader has no hidden agenda, so he is relaxed. The persuader does not have a goal to "find your pain." Instead, a professional presentation is made based upon the persuader's ability to exude success. The persuader is always cordial and professional, and if compliments are given they are sincere. Again, no ulterior motives. The persuader's contact is drawn to him because he knows success follows the persuader. Because of this, the contact wants to give him his business without the persuader having to convince him.
Get the difference? If you have leaned toward manipulation to get the client or deal that you were after, seriously consider reevaluating your approach. To be truly powerful and successful you must always be willing to walk away - not because you are playing a game of Chicken, but because you have integrity. No job or client is worth having to trench through muddy waters.
Many successful business people have degrees in Psychology, or at least make it a point to know the field. When you understand what draws people in, and makes them act or behave in a certain way, it is much easier to get what you want from them. The art of practicing this type of persuasion is to do it in an honorable way. A finesse is required which taps into the best part of who you are.
"The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."
Zig Ziglar quotes (American motivational Speaker and Author. )
A large portion of the population want what they can't have. Taking the example in this article about the business person who is willing to walk out the door, the potential customer will feel even more inclined to come after him. If they do succeed in retaining the persuader, and he is as good as he has demonstrated, then that customer will very likely be his for life.
Canadian Psychologists did a study in which they followed people at a race track. The study revealed that the people making bets on their horses were much more confident after they placed their bets then before. The circumstances hadn't changed, and no new information about the horses had been announced, the people involved in the study simply had taken the act of placing their bets.
The conclusions based on this study revealed that humans are inclined to take a stand once they make a decision and carry through with it. Another mitigating condition is that human beings are influenced by social and internal pressures. This condition points to people wanting to be winners, and wanting to be associated with winners.
And, it just so happens, that winners are masters at the art of persuasion. For this reason it is imperative to start each day with the winner's frame of mind. Start your days off with confidence. If you are not feeling it, fake it. Believe you are the best at what you do, and behave accordingly.
There is no substitute for being branded as an executive or as a company with class. Become an expert in your field, and treat everyone you meet with respect. Persuasion will become less something you do to another person, and more of a way of being. From there, everything will fall into place. Easier said than done, I know. But, the journey will be a whole lot more pleasant when you take the high road.