The Truth About Emotions - A Soft Sell Confirmation

Antonio Damasio, a world renowned neuro-scientist, argues that we use emotion to assign value to people, things, and events. And it is as a result of assigning value that we make decisions. Emotion first, reason second. Sound familiar? It should.

There's an old adage that's taken as gospel by marketers of all stripes. People buy emotionally and justify logically. In other words, heart first, head second.

So why do we say this is a Soft Sell Confirmation? Because soft sell is heart-based - not in a sentimental, gushy way - like a drunk who hangs all over you telling how much you are loved, emotions pouring out all over the place. That exhibits a lack of emotional value because it's not considered. And very often, once the hangover has subsided, not even remembered.

Soft sell, and the purchase that follows, is very considered, but considered upon a valuation based in emotion. Typically, we learned that decision making is a rational process.

For example, you make a list of the expected positive outcomes and balance that against a list of possible negative repercussions and, on the basis of that risk-reward assessment, you make a choice and go forward. But that's a leap to faith!

Why? Because reason, by its very nature, has no final authority. Using reason you can always create a logical, even compelling argument for the opposite of any choice you make.

So there you are, standing on the "ground" of a very logically developed point of view. But how can you be sure that the choice you've rationally made is ultimately the right choice? That fact is you can't . . . not with reason alone . . . because reason can't assign value, it can only be used to support the value you already feel. You stand on a mountain of facts and then leap to faith. And faith is a value choice grounded in emotion.

So what does this have to do with soft sell marketing?

1) Soft sell is about creating and maintaining relationships and real relationships are not static. They are living, and dynamic, and evolving. They are sustained through the feeling(s) between the people involved.

You've seen emotionally empty relationships. They are hollow, creaky, and surely not rewarding. They've dried up.

Your success as a soft sell marketer is to keep your relationships with your customers/clients as rich, moist, and fertile as you can. That requires sincerity, authenticity, and emotional availability.

Don't be afraid to let your customers feel you - not just know you but feel you. Let them into your life. Telling your story is one way to open that door.

2) You've heard people say, "Trust your gut." Your gut really does have a brain that feeds information to the brain in your cranium.

And so does your heart.

According to seventeenth century French philosopher Blaise Pascal - "The heart has its ways of reasoning of which reason has no knowledge." And according to recent research, there is a "heart brain" - an elaborate processing system that acts independently of the cranial brain. It has it's own way of learning, remembering, feeling and sensing.

So.. "Trust your heart." The heart is an evaluation center, based in feeling. It's the center of connection, emotional connection. Heart-based marketing is emotion-based marketing, followed by logical proof. You can collect a mountain of facts and statistics about your product, and you need to, so you can assure your customer you know what you're talking about, but then your customer must still leap to faith.

To Pitch or Present?

Have you ever wondered why the word "pitch" has become the term for selling? The salesperson makes a pitch; the words they use are a pitch; the listener is being pitched. Why is the word "pitch" - loaded with negative feelings and expectations - universally accepted as the term that accurately describes what's happening? At thesaurus.com there are 53 various definitions for the word "pitch." They range from - to set up, to the angle of a slope, to stumbling, to the plunging of the bow of a ship, to helping out.

We don't know about you but these don't have any bearing, at least not any immediately obvious connection, with a high pressure sales talk - which was one entry in the list. In another category "pitch"means a dark, thick, very sticky substance. Maybe this is where the negative connotation for "a sales pitch" comes from. You can't get the stuff off.

Think about a time you felt like you were being pitched. Just writing this last sentence brings back a rush of sense memories of what it felt like. Barraged. Unseen. Lied to - even if what the sales guy was saying was the total truth. It felt like a lie. Why?

Because his intention was inauthentic. He kept telling us how much he wanted to help, but whenever we had a question, instead of taking an interest in our concern, he'd answer by telling us about some feature of his product and just what it was going to do for us. And, of course, when we said we wanted to wait, he pulled out the old scarcity tactic. He could only offer me the "special price" if we acted immediately - i.e. accept his offer now.

Do you really believe that if we walked out and returned the next day, check in hand, he would say - "No. No. Sorry. That price was good only yesterday?"

As far as we see it, a pitch is when you get everything thrown at you for the explicit purpose of the salesperson getting your check right then and there. It is a scarcity, failure mentality that operates on desperation, and works to make you, the buyer, desperate as well.

In contrast, bring to mind an instance when a salesperson genuinely helped you to accomplish what you set out to do. What was that like? One thing sure - it wasn't a pitch.

And if the salesperson was really artful - yes, there is a genuine and sincere art to helping someone make a decision to buy - what he or she did was more of a presentation with your best interest at heart. Heart. Not Mind. Heart. A connection. An emotional connection, because, as we said in our last post - "The Truth about Emotions - A Soft Sell Confirmation!" -

The heart is an evaluation center, based in feeling. It's the center of connection, emotional connection. Heart-based marketing is emotion-based marketing. You can collect a mountain of facts and statistics about your product, and you need to, so you can assure your customer you know what you're talking about, but then your customer must still leap to faith. That leap is a leap of the heart . . . a leap based in emotional evaluation

How best can you help your customer make that leap of faith? One way is to make a presentation instead of a pitch. Because, again according to thesarus.com, here's what "to present" means and what it feels like: To furnish or endow with a gift; to offer, or give; to introduce; to show or exhibit; to offer for consideration.

How do you feel reading this last line? Gift. Offer. Introduce. Consideration. Doesn't it feel like you're actually being included in the presentation with your best interest at heart? And doesn't it make the prospect of offering something for sale more attractive?

The very best sales people, the artists, do just that. They know they have the responsibility of leading the customer to a buying decision, so, by making a presentation, they set up a buying environment instead of a selling one. They go into a partnership with their customer instead of seeing the transaction as a one-way street - from your wallet to theirs.

Remember, your customer is a person who has a life filled with hopes, fears, dreams, expectations, disappointments, and, just like you, they are entrusted with making their life as meaningful and as fulfilling as they can.

If your offer - your presentation - can facilitate and support their trust, you not only make a sale, you can make a long-term customer, someone who returns to you, because, with you, they know that the benefits they receive always reach well beyond just a product-for-money transaction.