The Truth About Emotions - A Soft Sell Confirmation

Antonio Damasio, a world renowned neuro-scientist, argues that we use emotion to assign value to people, things, and events. And it is as a result of assigning value that we make decisions. Emotion first, reason second. Sound familiar? It should.

There's an old adage that's taken as gospel by marketers of all stripes. People buy emotionally and justify logically. In other words, heart first, head second.

So why do we say this is a Soft Sell Confirmation? Because soft sell is heart-based - not in a sentimental, gushy way - like a drunk who hangs all over you telling how much you are loved, emotions pouring out all over the place. That exhibits a lack of emotional value because it's not considered. And very often, once the hangover has subsided, not even remembered.

Soft sell, and the purchase that follows, is very considered, but considered upon a valuation based in emotion. Typically, we learned that decision making is a rational process.

For example, you make a list of the expected positive outcomes and balance that against a list of possible negative repercussions and, on the basis of that risk-reward assessment, you make a choice and go forward. But that's a leap to faith!

Why? Because reason, by its very nature, has no final authority. Using reason you can always create a logical, even compelling argument for the opposite of any choice you make.

So there you are, standing on the "ground" of a very logically developed point of view. But how can you be sure that the choice you've rationally made is ultimately the right choice? That fact is you can't . . . not with reason alone . . . because reason can't assign value, it can only be used to support the value you already feel. You stand on a mountain of facts and then leap to faith. And faith is a value choice grounded in emotion.

So what does this have to do with soft sell marketing?

1) Soft sell is about creating and maintaining relationships and real relationships are not static. They are living, and dynamic, and evolving. They are sustained through the feeling(s) between the people involved.

You've seen emotionally empty relationships. They are hollow, creaky, and surely not rewarding. They've dried up.

Your success as a soft sell marketer is to keep your relationships with your customers/clients as rich, moist, and fertile as you can. That requires sincerity, authenticity, and emotional availability.

Don't be afraid to let your customers feel you - not just know you but feel you. Let them into your life. Telling your story is one way to open that door.

2) You've heard people say, "Trust your gut." Your gut really does have a brain that feeds information to the brain in your cranium.

And so does your heart.

According to seventeenth century French philosopher Blaise Pascal - "The heart has its ways of reasoning of which reason has no knowledge." And according to recent research, there is a "heart brain" - an elaborate processing system that acts independently of the cranial brain. It has it's own way of learning, remembering, feeling and sensing.

So.. "Trust your heart." The heart is an evaluation center, based in feeling. It's the center of connection, emotional connection. Heart-based marketing is emotion-based marketing, followed by logical proof. You can collect a mountain of facts and statistics about your product, and you need to, so you can assure your customer you know what you're talking about, but then your customer must still leap to faith.